Tip #1: Assume the Position
When it comes to straddling your sweetie, you might think that you need an instruction booklet just to get started. But taking the libidinous lead is a breeze. All that’s required are a few how-to tips and a healthy dose of carnal confidence. If you think you’ll feel like a klutz climbing on your man, try this smooth maneuver: “While you’re in bed kissing, roll on top of him and sit up with your knees on either side of his hips,” advises Lou Paget, author of The Big O. With one hand on the bed or his chest for support, lift your body up and forward, then guide him into you with your other hand as you slowly lower yourself. When you’re on top, play around with different poses to see what feels best. You can try putting your hands or elbows above his head and leaning your torso toward him, which will bring you close enough to lock lips. To show off your full-frontal assets — and make him go insane — straddle him facing forward and lean back with your arms resting on his shins or the bed for balance. “Many women avoid this position because it leaves them feeling so exposed,” says Paget. “But it’s a major turn-on for both of you.” That’s what Cassie,* 31, discovered when she tried this mouthwatering move. “When I lean back, my stomach looks flatter and my boobs look perkier, which automatically makes me feel sexier and lets me get into the moment. Needless to say, my boyfriend totally gets off on the view. He props a few pillows under his head and looks like a naughty schoolkid getting his first glimpse of a naked woman.”
If you’d rather be less revealing, pull your guy’s shoulders toward you so you’re both sitting upright with your legs wrapped around each other and your torsos melded together. This position can be very intimate since your faces are touching and you can slide your arms around each other so you’re superclose. It’s also a great method for offsetting a too-early orgasm. When you’re sitting with your bodies practically merged, you’re barely moving, which keeps your (or his) climax in a hot holding pattern until you’re both ready.
Tip #2: Get into a Groove
Once you’re aboard your babe, it’s time to settle into a rhythm that will help you hit your orgasmic peak. “Try moving your hips in a steady circular motion,” advises Whipple. “This way, you’ll feel your man rub against all sides of your vaginal walls, and you can experiment to find the penetration and positioning that feel best for you.” Or slowly rock back and forth instead of bouncing up and down, moving your body forward until your hot button presses against his pubic bone. The combination of feeling him inside you as your privates are being stimulated sends many on-top temptresses over the erotic edge. Says Cindy, 24: “My boyfriend and I discovered this maneuver one night while I was leaning all the way forward. For us, it works best when he’s deep inside me, with a pillow under his butt to raise his pelvis slightly so I can rub against him. I get the extra pleasure of being aroused inside and out.” You can also fine-tune your technique: Arch your back and his member will be against your orgasm-producing G-spot, felt through the front of your vaginal wall. Sit straight up and he’ll fit into you more directly, providing a deeper, fuller feel. Keeping your legs together tightens your grip and boosts the sensations for both of you, while spreading them apart — whether bent at the knees or stretched-out — lets you dabble rather than go deep.
Tip #3: Let Him Help You
Just because you’re in the driver’s seat doesn’t mean your dude should just lie back and enjoy the ride. Ask him to pitch in if your knees start to feel sore or when a supplementary motion on his part would make the lovemaking feel twice as nice. “If it means making sex more intense for both of you, chances are, he’ll want to lend a hand,” says Whipple. Keisha, 26, admits: “I love controlling the pace when I ride my guy, but it’s nice when he takes over every so often so that I can catch my breath. Like when I’m tired of thrusting, he’ll clutch my hips and rear end, gently pulling me forward and pushing me back.” Another tip for dividing the lusty labor: Try grinding your groins in tandem so you feed off his momentum without having to make all the waves yourself. Think of it as sexy seesawing, where he’s pushing his pelvis up and toward you while you’re thrusting down and back. The friction will hike up your excitement and provide sensational clitoral stimulation.
Tip #4: Double Your Pleasure
There’s one more major reason why being on top rocks: “No other position leaves your body so open to exploration,” says Whipple. The fact that your guy has unlimited access to you practically guarantees a big-time, pulse-pounding payoff. Take advantage of your accessibility by getting your man to give you a little manual pleasure. Invite him to run his hands over your breasts and belly, and make sure he doesn’t neglect your hot button. Having him stroke you there while you’re doing the bump-and-grind gives you twice as much titillation, which can launch you to an otherworldly orgasm. An easy way to pull this off: “Take his hand and make the movements you want him to use so he knows what gets you going and can finish on his own,” advises Paget. As Meghan, 28, discovered, the results can be astounding: “I’d never been able to climax through intercourse, but one little change to woman-on-top did it for me — his hand!” she recalls. “That extra stimulation makes sex better than ever.”